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obscuredmadness@CBox

I shouldn't take things so serious. But why do I continuously become curious each day?It was just a night, but that's all it took to linger and hold on the me so dearly.

I remember the first time we talked, the first time we met, and the first words you spoke to me. "Are you nervous?" I agreed in reply. Who wouldn't be? Those things, I want to forget and let go but as of now, I can't for a reason that I cannot even point out.

The hours we shared together pulls me closer and closer to you, not letting me go. Why? Why are you bringing me to this state? Who are you to let me question myself and take everything too seriously?

Last February 18, 2012. Me and my batch mates had our prom. Words can't express how magical the night was. No joke. After all the months of preparation and stress over our prom. After all the preparation for the prom dress, shoes, and escort, it finally happened.

I really thank God above everything else for making such event possible. I thank the prom committee, parents, and the school for allowing the event to actually take place. I also thank all the people who helped me dress up for prom. More so, I thank all the friends who spent time together with me the whole night. Lastly, I thank my prom date for actually accompanying me to the prom.

I think one of the things that made the prom fun was the fact that my date, and the dates of my 3 best friends were there to laugh and play with us.

Picture credits to Isabella P. and Louise S.

So apparently, I found out yesterday along with other CE Angels that Ella will get married on May 5, 2012 with her Malaysian fiance. At first I felt shocked about the news. Then after thinking about it awhile ago, I have realized a lot of things.

First, CE. As a CE fan, the news was disappointing. I wanted Chun and Ella together and yet they didn't. A lot of questions keep on popping in my mind. Were we really delusional? Were we thinking too much? Was there really nothing between them? With all honesty, I believe CE were together. How long? I don't know. When did it end? I don't know either. Most of the time, other people would say that they're just another love team. As a CE fan it hurts my pride to read such things. It may have been true. Maybe Chun and Ella were just too friendly with each other out of courtesy. But then again, there are some things that more or less a minority of the CE fans know about the two of them which personally, I can't pinpoint an explanation to why they do that. And maybe those were the reason why I held on to CE for so many years. It's not just about their mere glances at one another nor not just their public display of chemistry. I've seen a lot more and with all those, how could I stop believing?

Second, I feel regretful more than resentful. I'm more disappointed than devastated. Everything's different now. If I was who I was a year or two years back, I'd probably be crying as I write this and I'd bash that Malaysian guy all throughout. But no, I'm not. Maybe it's because I have strayed a little bit farther from CE through the months that passed. Maybe I was too busy to care.

Although it's a sad time, I also can't help but look back and reminisce those memories. I still remember the time I first signed up for CEFC, even ignoring to post at first. I remember how I made my very first friend there, Ate Ally. I remember how gradually, I came to love CE more, made more friends, became more confident about myself, and how I was gradually shaped to be the person I am now. I also remember all the laughter and jokes I had with all my CE friends. It was fun and magnificent. I miss it. I miss it so much I'd do anything to let it happen again. I miss everyone else that I wanna cry more for these friends than for CE.

I'd like to thank all the friends I made throughout my 4 years journey of being a CE fan. Through you, I was able to do a lot of things. Thank you for everything. You'll always be in my heart and all the memories we have made will be remembered.

Lastly, I thank CE for everything. I hope Ella will be happy with her marriage. I don't like the guy but I don't hate him. I just hope he's not marrying Ella just for the sake of his personal selfishness. I hope he won't hurt her and would cherish her so much he'd die for her.

As for my so called 'CE Journey', I'd say it lasted about 4 years and will officially end on May 5, 2012. But honestly, this journey would never end in my heart. I'd like to continue this journey as each day pass because I'm so thankful for it. If I hadn't started this journey, who am I now?

Today I relieved one of the events that made my life totally complete, Super Show 3 in 3D.



PULP, once again brought craze among Philippine ELFs by bringing the SS3 3D Movie in the Philippine theaters nationwide. Upon hearing the news that it will be shown on specific dates of October, I wasn't able to contain my excitement. I wanted to watch. But later on, I found myself discouraged with the thought: "Is it really worth it?"

I was able to watched the LIVE SS3 last February 26, 2011 in Araneta. I was in SVIP. I had a lot of exciting moments during that concert. The SS3 3D movie was just 1 hour and a half long. The ticket was worth Php 1000. It was hard to buy tickets. These things kept on bothering me. It made me waver on the excitement of being able to watch the movie. Having myself watch the movie was almost hopeless. Until it came to the point that we decided to buy my friend a SS3 3D ticket for her birthday since she wasn't able to watch the concert itself. Sooner or later, I also found myself buying a movie ticket that has a short screen time and was worth 1K. I must be crazy.

And then comes the day itself. I went to SM Megamall around 1 pm and met with my friends. We found out that no one was lining up yet so we checked from time to time until we had the courage to "start the line". Well technically. (We were just talking with each other and as we talk we move closer to the 'entrance' until we find ourselves being followed by other fans. They were lining up behind us all of a sudden. Oh the joy. But we were 2nd in line since there were a group of ELFs who came first and we know it's more than right for them to be first in line.) Then came the time when we bought SS3 3D poster for Php50 and the SS2 PULP Issue which I wasn't able to get last year.

4pm came and the security let us in. We decided to find ourselves good seats inside and leave the SJ standees for later after the movie. A few arguments about where to sit until we finally found "our seat". A representative from PULP introduced herself, played a "death" game with fans, and ELFinity performed for us. After that, the rest is history.

It was short, yes. But it was worth it. When they said 3D, it really was. The confetti falling as if it was really in the cinema. The close-ups of the SJ members all sweating. The fanservice of the members. The "benta" moments. We watched, we sang, we chanted, we screamed, and we laughed together as some watched for the very first time while others relieved what they had experienced last February.

The cinema wasn't full just like how other showings were. It was kinda disappointing. Upon seeing personally the 'lack of attendance', it saddened me how the possibility of SS4 in Manila really comes down to the drain. But nonetheless, the show was worth it.

PS. I just want to share a "benta" moment of my friend. I won't tell who. So there were standees outside the cinema and as a Kyuhyun biased, she wanted to take a picture. And so she went beside the standee. ANd the rest was history yet again. Kidding. The standee actually fell down and the other member standee (Heechul) also fell down because of what happened. It was really funny but the embarrassment faded after some standees also fell down. hehe.

Everything is great. Super Junior releasing a new album. Super Junior being able to promote again. Super Junior winning in shows again. Leeteuk and Heechul participating in the 5th album. No fan could ever ask for more.

But seriously, I am still in shock of Heechul’s sudden announcement. For any ELF, not only a Petal, to read something along the lines of “Heechul to enlist on September 1” is something that won’t be easily accepted.

We all know sooner or later THIS time would actually come. But honestly and personally, I cannot accept it as of now. He may not be my bias but on one way or another, He has become part of my life.

It won’t be easy sending him off on the 1st. And oh good heavens I have September 1 is an exam date, who knows how much I can concentrate thinking that he’ll be entering the army. But yes, it really won’t be easy.

2 years. I know we can wait. But thinking about it, a lot of things could happen during those 2 years. But what can we do? It’s not something we fans can stop more so if Heechul wants it.

I read in the news that at first he just want to enlist quietly and not announce it. Seriously Heechul? Seriously? You do not know what could happen if you didn’t announce it. Fans would retaliate and would be in chaos if you did that. And so Thank you for announcing it. As much as it hurts right now, I’m relieved and gracious that you took time and announce it for everyone else to know.

I respect your decision. Fans will wait, don’t worry.

I knew it would happen sooner or later but what has been announced recently shocked not only me, not only the fans, but even Aaron, Jiro, and Calvin. I'm still sad over it.

Chun is leaving Fahrenheit. was the bottomline of HIM's announcement. At first, I was too depressed to even think about it. But now, thinking about these things, seeing Aaron, Jiro, and Calvin's posts in Weibo expressing their sadness and shock especially Aaron whom I really feel sad for, I realized and asked myself, "Was it possible that A,J,C, or even Chun, since he hasn't even spoken about it, were also caught off-guard by the recent announcement?" Who knows. I myself am still confused.

Fahrenheit would be the very very first boyband I fell in love with and seeing this boyband lose a member, the member whom I first fell in love with is really something that I can't accept right away. All those laughters, tears, and craziness I showed was because of them. It's really a pity.

On the other hand, it's also a good thing he'll leave the company. I'm sure he talked about this with his FRH brothers beforehand and leaving the company would open greater possibilities for Chun even in regards to CE.

I'm sure the four of them will keep in contact still. Their brotherhood is something that won't disband. I just hope it won't be ruined by people who twists the words from both sides.

I'm gonna make this short. I'm really just irritated by it. Before, since I was busy with school, I didn't have time to complain and rant about it but now since it's summer, feel my wrath.

Seriously spammers in my tagboard. What the hell is wrong with you? I know it's basically public and everyone can post but WTF!? Do you even know what 'Get a life' means? Instead of posting random and irrelevant messages in my tagboard, it would have been better if you actually commented ABOUT the stuffs I write about and not just promoting whatever you may call those site of yours. It really irks me.

Spam all the way in my tagboard only if it's relevant to my blog. But if you're just going to promote those 'sites' of yours and put random and irrelevant comments. Get out of my blog. I don't bite, really. Nor do I get mad easily. It's just that it's too much already. So there, stop it now. I'm not asking you to leave my blog and not comment on my posts but please, don't spam. I know that you know what spamming means so don't do it. You don't wanna see me getting pissed off again. Swear.